I am an Avocado
Now in my 50’s I have FOMO, not for what is happening at the bars, or for who is succeeding at work, but for not being able to access my spirit guides and angels.
My podcast taste tends toward the people who discuss energetic realms as if everyone accepts and experiences them on a daily basis. There are mediums, psychics, healers, astral travelers, and so many more fascinating creatures. And I feel like everyone is in touch with their guides except me. Wah.
I do the meditations, I breathe myself into a wisp of vapor and let my body relax like goo, but no messages come. I write to them in my journal and pause for an answer. And pause. And wait. But I get crickets. Not even crickets, I just get bored and start writing about something else.
The worst part is that I feel like maybe they are answering me or trying to get through, but I’m either too distracted to notice, or looking in one place while they are showing up in another. It’s like those old movies (am I thinking of The Three Stooges?) where one guy walks out of a door looking for the other, and walks back in the door just as the other guy is coming out. And they keep repeating that until it’s so not funny anymore. Are my spirit guides the Three Stooges?
When I’m out and about and find a surprising item – anything I can interpret as a message – I nab it. This morning it was this:
I have come to believe that this is my flavor of universal signs. Since I’m not exactly getting the smack-me-upside-the-head messages I’m looking for, I’m attempting to let everything be significant. This card is significant because it made me laugh out loud while I was walking the dog at 6am, and shook me out of my ADHD waterfall of ruminations.
My guides are telling me to lighten the fuck up and snap out of my doom spiral. They enjoy coming to me when I least expect it – probably because my guard is down, I’m open and my energy is clean.
So I receive the avocado card and it makes me laugh. Or the baby deer that looked like it was planted by the side of the road literally two minutes after Fen and I were discussing how we were glad to have never hit a deer with a car and one minute after I was flooded with the knowing we would go around the next bend and see a deer.
It looked as confused and surprised as we were. Like one second it was deep in the woods gnawing a tender shoot, and then POOF it found itself standing next to a road with 3 idiots in a car stopping to gawk at it.
The closest visuals I have for guides are the 4 that my friend Jessica was able to intuit when she gave me a Reiki session. There was:
- The woman who would take my spoken pain and turn it to love to send it back to me.
- The dude who was pulling the negative energy from my crown chakra (encouraging me to lighten the fuck up)
- Another who wasn’t ready to communicate with me yet (!),
- And I sadly can’t remember the 4th. I think I received the news of them with surprise and maybe a little frustration that I couldn’t feel them.
Hello? Are you there? Can you maybe give me a little more than an avocado card? Even a strangely-timed light flickering or how about a warm full-body tingling?
Do you know what this makes me want to do? Make a tracker! I want to track my signs and messages from my guides. Do you want one? I will go create one right now and come back and put it right below this sentence so you can track yours, too. Let me know what you get so I can be jealous of you, too. Lolz